Couples & Relationship therapy
Why relationship therapy?
Every relationship is an ongoing cycle of harmony, disharmony and repair. Moments of closeness and connection are often followed by periods of distance, tension, unresolved conflict and pain.
We enter relationships unconsciously hoping to finish what was left unfinished from childhood. We bring with us deeply rooted fixed templates about love, intimacy, safety and connection which were formed early in life. These templates shape who we choose, how we attach, how we fight, and how we protect ourselves when things feel threatening. Over time, they can lock partners into painful cycles that feel repetitive, confusing, and hard to escape.
Frequent conflict. Broken trust. Emotional reactivity. Relationships reach breaking point. Infidelity. Disconnection. These are some of the reasons couples seek therapy, but beneath them is often the same dynamic: reacting from old adaptations, emotional wounds and outdated relational skills formed long before the relationship began.
In my work with couples we focus on building relational awareness. This involves recognising two levels of consciousness in your relationship:
- The first level is reactive, when old survival strategies take over. This is where blame, control, withdrawal, attack, unbridled self-expression and other forms of losing strategies tend to live.
- The second level is intentional and relational. It's adult ability to notice, pause, reflect and choose how you show up even when things feel difficult. This is where vulnerability, intimacy and repair live.
If you are feeling distant, stuck or caught in the same patterns again and again, couples therapy can offer a space to understand what is really going on and to create something more conscious, alive and meaningful.
My couple's training
I am a relationship therapist with a postgraduate training in relationship psychotherapy. I am also trained and approach my work with couples using Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
RLT was developed by Terry Real, who is a family therapist, and is a form of couples therapy known for producing deep and lasting change. RLT combines psychotherapy, family systems, trauma work and neurobiology to create a highly effective method that helps even the most distant or volatile couples reconnect.